Mekanik Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, "Holy shit.... what a ride!" +1 /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/thumbup.gif I think about that quote all the time. Thats how I like to live my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Amacker Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 Understeer is when you hit the wall with the front of the car. Oversteer is when you hit the wall with the rear of the car. Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall. Torque is how far you take the wall with you. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrunoWilimek Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 Keep them coming guys. Lots of good ones. Here's one I saw many years ago. Shop rates $85/ hour. $95/ hour if you watch. $125/ hour if you help. $250/ hour if you try to fix it yourself first, then bring it in. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamageINC Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 My buddy (Tony knows him) Skippy ACTUALLY asked a girl once if she'd like to go back to his place for some Pizza and Sex. After the instinctual "what the hell?" look on her face, he said "What - you don't like pizza?" That was about 9 or 10 years ago at a punk show in Chicago, lol. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristopherH Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Signs I have collected in my toolbox: "Doing a good job around here is like pissing your pants in a dark suit--it gives you a warm feeling all over, but nobody notices." "We the Unwilling, led by the Unknowing and the Incompetent, are trying to do the Impossible for the Ungrateful." "I offer three types of service here, please choose one-- 1) I can do a Cheap Job Quick, but it won't be Good. 2) I can do a Good Job Cheap, but it won't be Quick. 3) I can do a Good Job Quick, but it won't be Cheap!" "Hourly labor rate charge is directly proportional to Customer's Attitude." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DwayneGorniak Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 A sign that I had emailed to me: NOTICE This Department requires no physical Fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise Jumping to Conclusions, Flying off the handle, Running down the boss, knifing friends in the back, dodging responsibility and pushing their luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastendpowerstroke Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Some people are like slinkies..... Completely useless, but can still bring a smile to your face if you push them down a flight of stairs!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Warman Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 I believe that it is the current crop of Sprint commercials. Ozzy is speaking as Ozzy will...... and he winds up having to text message his replies for people to understand.... You colonists have a hard time with it.... but at one point, I can clearly hear him state... "It makes me want to shave me bollocks". This man is truly in tune with our times.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Amacker Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 Thought for the day: Handle every situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LARRY BRUDZYNSKI Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 Mind over Matter.... I don't mind It don't matter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DwayneGorniak Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 Another pickup line for all you Single dudes out there: I'm a piece officer, can I check your Piece? Oh and an old surfer saying: If it swells, ride it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark_Moniz Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 I was employed at a blue oval dealer and found employment elsewhere and went to the manager and gave him my notice that went like this, " I am giving you my 2 day notice, I QUIT TODAY" He wasn't too happy!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LARRY BRUDZYNSKI Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Forgot one, see other post.... "It's all on the wheel, what comes around goes around" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony302600 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Thought for the day: Handle every situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif thats awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Clayton Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Some guy calls the shop looking for advise....he was told to pull the car up next to the phone and we'd take a look at it. As seen on a t-shirt, "my cow died so I don't need your bull" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DwayneGorniak Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 You just reminded me of the back door customers that come walking into the shop. This is something I used to love saying at Fourlane when a customer walked into the shop and asked me if I was a Mechanic: No, but I stayed at a Holliday Inn Express last nite. Ahhh, the looks on their faces when you use that line. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/hahaha.gif Or I would would say no and point at a poor apprentice and say I'm just the janitor, you need to go talk to that guy over there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Warman Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 While not a saying, there is always the tale of a tech named "Jeff". Jeffs coveralls proudly proclaimed "Mike" over his left tit. If he was approached by someone calling him "Jeff", he would take the time... if the stranger called him "Mike"... well... we know where that's going to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BustedKnucklez Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I read a good quote in a book that I used on a former employer of mine. We were starting a fleet/truck center with a secondary P&A. When we asked for equipment he said he had to see some revenue first. I said, "does it make sense to tell your fire place 'no, I won't give you any fire wood until you give me some heat?'" It was funny. He didn't respond. Just turned very red, took a real long drag from his cigarette, and mean mugged me. It's fun to make people that think they're smarter than you, feel stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Adema Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 "I do precisin guesswork based on vague assumptions and unreliable data of dubious accuracy provided by persons of questionable intellectual capacity." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 "I do precisin guesswork based on vague assumptions and unreliable data of dubious accuracy provided by persons of questionable intellectual capacity." I saw this on a sign - little different, it said 'WE do...blahblah' and it was followed with "What would you like fixed today?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Bruene Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 The early bird catches the worm... but it is the second mouse who gets the cheese! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Browning Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fjubain Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 Here we have a tech that always tell us" Remember cross threads is better than no threads" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Browning Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 Here we have a tech that always tell us" Remember cross threads is better than no threads" My brother and I had a similar phrase: "And that is the beauty of aluminum! (If you cross the threads you can just make your own.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekanik Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 "You can never be too skinny or too rich. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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