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Good Sayings

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HeuiTim

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"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean I'm not being followed".

 

"If the solution appears simple, it is obvious you don't understand the problem".

 

One of my personal internet faves.... how many trips to the hospital begin with "Hey, guys.... watch this...".

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I believe that was based on a Will Rogers quote.

 

How about:

"I make up my opinions from facts and reasoning, and not to suit any body but myself. If people don't like my opinions, it makes little difference as I don't solicit their opinions or votes."

William Tecumseh Sherman

 

For Jim:

"You are remembered for the rules you break."

Douglas MacArthur

 

And I leave you with:

"I rant, therefore I am."

Dennis Miller

Maybe this one is better for Jim?

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Magnet on my toolbox:

"Got a complaint? Just ask for Heywood Jablowmi"

 

From years ago, in another life:

"Purple is the highest number in the alphabet."

 

In response to a witty remark (stolen from "robot chicken" on the cartoon network):

"That's hilarious! Let's hear it for 'Jokey McShut the fuck up!'"

 

And, from one of you cats on this board:

"We were all over it like a Hindu on chicken!"

 

I'm still trying to figure out what that means!

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A Boss is like a diaper, always on your ass and usually full of SHIT!

 

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma!

 

A couple of bumper stickers my wife had:

 

I wonder if you would drive any better if your cell phone was shoved up your ASS!

 

Keep Honking Asshole, I'm reloading!

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My all time favorites -

 

1) My trucks lug nuts require more torque then your ricer can make.

 

2) It's not that I'm old, your music really does suck.

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One of my favourites, is when someone directs the comment to you: "Hey, if I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!"

 

You reply: "Hey, if it wasn't for assholes like us, SHIT like YOU wouldn't be alive!"

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I think some of the stuff you guys put in your signatures is pretty funny.

 

  • I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me, than a full frontal lobotomy.

    .

  • Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive (the damn thing blew up)

    .

  • For Sale 1 Ford Diesel Certification, real cheap

    .

  • Darn it, if I only paid attention on career day. TOO LATE NOW!

    .

  • If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.

    .

  • I started this career with nothing, and I still have most of it left

    .

  • My member status is "Junior"; that's demoralizing /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif (How does Keith know?)

    .

  • When I was young I knew everything; but by now, I've forgotten more than I will ever know.

    .

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The tranny tech I used to work next to had a sticker on his box...

 

"If it doesn't fit, FORCE IT. If it breaks, then it needed to be replaced anyway."

 

He lived by this motto actually.

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My favorite bumper stickers:

" Driver carries no cash. Has two daughters. "

That one applies to me.

 

" Welcome to America. Now speak english. "

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Quote:
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I saw a T-shirt that said
"Made in America, With Mexican Parts"


Reminds me of a hat I just seen, "Taylor Ford" on the edge of the bill it says "Buy a Ford Made in America" On the side of the hat has a U.S. flag underneath of the flag has the label "MADE IN CHINA"
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I'm a young one at 22 years old but there's a guy in his 40's that I socialize with. He tends to catch me with wandering eyes at the bar or elsewhere and reminds me "Remember, no matter how good she looks or how sweet she is somebody, somewhere, is tired of her shit." Or for those of you who have had the pleasure of S. Fl in July "It's hotter than two mice mice #@$%ing in a wool sock."

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I'll lay claim to the Hindu on a chicken remark. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif

 

"I live in my own little world, but it's ok - everyone knows me here."

 

"Ahh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us once again!"

 

"Did I just hear a toilet flush?"

 

While pushing trucks inside: "POWERED BY YOU!"

 

"I quit drinking, they invented a funnel."

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"Remember, no matter how good she looks or how sweet she is somebody, somewhere, is tired of her shit."

This is the most intelligent thing I have read today. Very wise advice from a 22 year old. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/thumbup.gif

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Quote:
If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.

Need to add to this one: The answer is....

6.0 OR MAYBE 6.4
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