Shlep Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Time to revive this thread I think.... Keith your sig. has to be the best and by far the truest I have ever read.... The wife and I had words. I didn't get to use mine! Thats priceless Best part is .. that my other half agrees Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Clayton Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 My wife runs the household but I have the last word......... "yes dear". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony302600 Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 While i was watching "the real housewives of new jersey," (was forced into watching it) one of the husbands pretty much said "happy wife, happy life." My favorite saying is "FML" in frustrating situations like, bridal shows, the decorating for the wedding, "does this make me look fat questions." it stands for "F*ck My Life." Those three letters usually make the situation better and we both start laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasgasman Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 6.0 and 6.4....... They did not give a damn when the designed it, so why should I give a damn when I fix it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Clayton Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 As seen on a job application "excellent memory, great people skills, excellent memory". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fabfoes87 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 next time when you leave your buddy, "Dont let your meat loaf" "o.k pal, dont let your !?@#%! willow." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iceman Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Here is one guys "Nitrous is like a hot chick with STD's You know you wanna hit it but your afraid of the consequences" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Here is one guys "Nitrous is like a hot chick with STD's You know you wanna hit it but your afraid of the consequences" Nitrous is a gas, but I'd rather be BLOWN!! And fuggit, I'd hammer nitrous on ANYTHING. I'd spray my lawnmower, if it had enough fuel pressure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LARRY BRUDZYNSKI Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Just got these in a email..... 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.Just pretty much leave me alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 9 . If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you. 10 . Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment. 12 . If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 19 . Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 21 . Never miss a good chance to shut up. 22 . Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Warman Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Some days your the dog - some days your the fire hydrant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.Meanwrench Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 "It Is What It Is" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LARRY BRUDZYNSKI Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 I am not as you think I am stoned..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 I am not as you think I am stoned..... You sure it's not "I'm not as think as you stoned I am?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Nitrous Oxide is like Viagra. When the bottle's empty, the fun's over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LARRY BRUDZYNSKI Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Originally Posted By: LARRYATSTI I am not as you think I am stoned..... You sure it's not "I'm not as think as you stoned I am?" It could be, was one eye typing at the time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Browning Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Or he was think... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LARRY BRUDZYNSKI Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Only drug of choice is of the alcohol version. No smokin no tokin...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DwayneGorniak Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Life is all about ASSES!!! You're either covering it, Laughing it off, Kicking it, Kissing it, Busting it, Trying to get a piece of it, Or behaving like one!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LARRY BRUDZYNSKI Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Handle every stressful situation like a dog.... If you can't eat it or hump it, Piss on it and walk away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 "I'm going to talk to Ralph on the BIG WHITE PHONE" (when you're about to hurl, which I've been doing since 6:45 this morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Adema Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Green eggs and ham disagreeing with your tummy, Aaron? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Warman Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 did he eat them with a fox? did he eat them in a box? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 I've spent a lot of time regretting whatever the hell it was I ate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Warman Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 It surely couldn't have been one of them three story gut bombs, could it? BTW... I came across this and you were the first person I thought of - holy taco from hell, Batman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LARRY BRUDZYNSKI Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.